Zach survived KCRM's Thanksgiving and Christmas festivities and is gearing up to do it again next year!

I’m writing now, because I know I’ll eventually need this reminder. I understand Thomas at a certain level, but I don’t want to be long remembered for my doubts. I want to always remember the powerful ways God moves in my life so that blind, child-like faith is the only natural response to any circumstance that comes my way.

I am stalled. The car is reasonably warm inside. My fingers are stiff, my nose is running, but it’s tolerable. I try starting it again. Er-er-er-er-er…

9:45. I call my workplace, Kansas City Rescue Mission, to tell them the obvious. I’m late to work. I open my laptop and answer emails in the car. I listen to NPR. I feel so trapped.

A coworker calls to ask if he can come get me. “No, I’m fine,” I say.

I know this will happen again and again this winter. I know my husband wants me to get a new car. I know there are people out there who want to help me and I know I need help, yet here I sit, trying to do this on my own.

It reminds of the guys who line up at the door for check-in each night. And I juxtapose them against the guys in KCRM’s Christian Community of Recovery. At some point, guys in the check-in line must think, “I’ve been doing this over and over, and it’s just not working. I oughta ask for help.” Then they do or they don’t. Some get on the recovery program; some just sit and turn the key again and again with the same results.

I am receiving 10-fold for anything I put back in.

As of two weeks ago, my family members have slowly started contacting me. First one, then another and even another one, as of today.  These are people who have been burned by me for 45 years, that I never had any hope of ever being in contact with again. People who have seen the very worst of me. People who have seen my many futile attempts at sobriety, which have always failed.

Bobby, left, with his friend and CCOR grad Fred.

Come on ! 3 in 2 weeks ! God is wonderful !!!

I still haven’t gotten my sister and my daughter back, but after this, I see anything is possible. My faith is in God, to restore those relationships as well.

Praise the LORD !

Thanks to all here that have helped me along this path and to my new freedom from the past !
–
Bobby Sessom
Kansas City Rescue Mission.

Dee Dee is fearless — almost. Last week as she sat outside the gate of a shelter at 2:30 in the morning, she was accosted by four men who went through her bags, and threatened her. “I was scared,” she told me, as she choked down the Chinese food we were sharing together.

I love Dee Dee, and I want her to be safe and well. But I’ve learned in our years together, she’s going to do it her way. So those of us who love her, pray for her and hope her NEXT apartment will be ”home” a little longer this time.

So our staff has to make tough decisions about who to shelter, how to make two case managers and one nurse miraculously meet dozens of needs presented each day.  Our kitchen churns out 250 hot (and truly delicious) meals each day … they want to do more — in fact there are definitely more men and women in line along the sidewalk — but the dining hall just isn’t big enough to hold everyone and there’s a limit to how many people our limited staff can handle.

Jason’s story is true and his struggle is real.  But we could tell you a dozen more if you had the time.  And I guess our staff faces a dilemma, too, now that I’ve reread this blog.  What we need are resources and prayer … and if someone could work a miracle … a few more hours in the day!

Within minutes, Chris Abke and I were making our way into KCRM staff offices, shoving our cameras in employees’ faces and uttering six very frightening words: “Describe KCRM in 60 seconds!  Go!”

People were terrified, not to mention irritated and threatening … but we stood firm.  ”I’m filming,” I whined.  ”Say something.”  (Chris says he was far more professional in his approach, but how professional can you really be when all you have to work with is your smartphone camera?)

The result of our assault on the KCRM staff can be found in this video.  We think we’ve done a great job of exploiting our KCRM teammates. (Kudos to Chris Abke for cobbling this together with iMovie and a few tricks.)  And in the end, most of ‘em smiled as they watched the video and laughed at each other.  It’s a good thing we’ve got a forgiving staff.   Now … what would YOU say about KCRM in 60 second … GO!

Once, KCRM roomies, today Bobby works for KCRM and Fred has reconciled with his family.

Several months ago, Fred Fliger graduated from our Christian Community of Recovery.  Fred is one of the most pleasant guys you’d ever want to meet, so it was hard to imagine who he was when he was using.  Though he and his wife loved each other very much, she’d asked Fred to leave when his addiction hit its peak.

I’m not sure how much time elapsed between the day Fred hit KC’s streets and he came to KCRM.  I CAN tell you his time in C-COR was marked by his polite demeanor and helpfulness.  His relationship with Jesus Christ shown in his smile and his upbeat attitude. Once he graduated, Fred took a full-time job at a paper manufacturer and moved in with Bobby Sessom, now a part-time member of our staff.

A week ago, Fred told us he’d saved enough money to take a vacation in California.  While there, he reconnected with his wife and son … and as he’d hoped, they asked him to COME HOME.

This afternoon, I grabbed and camera and snapped these photos just as Fred, his son and wife were joyfully packing the trunk of her car with his belongings.  They stopped for a moment in the already scorching sun so I could record their happiness, then jumped in the car and headed west for California and home.

Please pray for this family!  Just before leaving, Fred’s very happy wife said, “You know the movie The Notebook?  That’s us.  We’re staying together to the end.”  What a great day for Fred, his family and KCRM!

Fred, his wife, son and dog stop loading the car just long enough to pose for a goodbye photo.

The road toward recovery was hard …  in fact, there was more bad news than good, but Jimmie seemed content.  Fitted with a colostomy bag and ports through which IVs could be easily attached, Jimmie sat in the courtyard often, soaking up the sun and conversing with other residents.  Then June 24, dressed in shorts and a T-shirt, without his meds, extra clothing or a word to anyone, Jimmie disappeared with another graduate.  Later, the two texted that they were partying at a local hotel.

Shock, anger and grief coursed through KCRM.  Not Jimmie!  What was he thinking?  He’ll die out there!  Doesn’t he remember how we love him? Cared for him?  Doesn’t he remember his commitment to Christ?

Human emotion can often drown out the very voice of God who, through Paul in Philippians 2:5, said: “In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.”  That mindset becomes clear when you read Jesus’ experience in Matthew 9:36: “When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.”

If we worked among homeless individuals in Kansas City for any reason other than in obedient response and God-given love, not one of us would make it past the grief and anger we feel in those times when someone in whom we’ve “invested ” strays away.

We’ve come to understand WE were like sheep without a shepherd, too.  In fact, there are times when we still act like sheep without a shepherd, relapsing as Jimmie did, but into our own vices of selfishness, gossip, jealousy ….  We are aware that at any time, God may be looking at us, the workers in the KCRM community, wondering, “How could you do this?  Don’t you know the time I’ve invested in you?”

Jimmie is our friend.  He has become part of who KCRM is, and his absence is unsettling, discouraging … our brother is out there somewhere and we cannot help him.

While we wait and hope that Jimmie will turn up safe and sound, we remember the other guys at KCRM — the “99 sheep” who wait and hope with us as the Shepherd calls for His missing lamb.

Job Title: Kansas City Rescue Mission Women’s Center Director
Type of Staff: Full Time (Exempt)
Staff Supervisor: KCRM Executive Director

Job Overview:
Develop and oversee Women’s Center, including: program, staff, policy-making and procedures. Responsible for developing and maintaining budget. Will be a member of the KCRM Leadership Team.
The KCRM Women’s Center will provide emergency care, resident case management and recovery for up to 20 single, homeless women, many with dual diagnoses. Programs and services will provide a continuum of care with the goal of moving women into the community in safe, affordable housing.
Requirements:
• Must be a committed Christian and able to present the gospel clearly.
• Prefer master’s degree in social services or related field.
• Must demonstrate achievements in leadership, program development and operations of a residential facility.
• Must be able to network with community resources, and potential donors and volunteers.
• This position should be filled by mid-July, so the director can work with the architect and Leadership Team to develop the center, its programs, services, policies and procedures, and to hire staff.
Benefits: KCRM offers health, dental, vision, life and disability insurance; cafeteria plans and 403b plan; paid holidays, vacation, personal and sick leave.
Salary Range: Negotiable
Contact: All applicants should send their resume to KCRM’s Human Resource Manager at employment@kcrm.org or fax to 816-421-0405. Call 816-421-7643 and ask to speak with Alisha Roberts for additional information regarding this position.

Eric and Joe launch their kayaks from Kaw Point at 7:30 a.m. May 17.

Kayaking on Currents of Compassion
by Eric Verbovszky on Friday, May 27, 2011 at 11:59am

The sun was nearly gone, setting behind two weary kayak paddlers only partway into their long voyage. There were clear skies all around, yet in front of us I could see the blue sky fading into the inevitable darkness that slowly crept closer to Joe and me. The moon was slow to rise tonight; I hoped we would not have to wait long for the light of the full moon to guide us down the now quiet and peaceful Missouri River. Thankfully there was no cloud cover; we still had the faint glow of the stars to provide some ambient light as we floated in the current on our way to the small town of Miami, MO.

Months ago, I brought this idea to the development team at the Kansas City Rescue Mission for a potential fundraiser. In previous years I had already completed a few journeys via kayak. Upon graduating in 2009 from my alma mater, Dickinson College, a friend and I paddled from central PA to about halfway down the Chesapeake Bay. Later that summer, I completed the Missouri River 340, a kayak race from Kansas City to St. Charles and one of National Geographic’s 50 top adventures in the United States. Earlier this year, I journeyed to Texas to race in the inaugural Texas Winter 100K, a 62 mile race starting in Austin. But with this Missouri River trip, I decided to challenge myself to reach Jefferson City, MO, a distance of 223 miles on the muddy river, within the span of 36 hours. More importantly however, I wanted to use this trip to benefit the homeless and poor that the Kansas City Rescue Mission ministers to. Currents of Compassion was born.

Finally Tuesday, May 17th arrived. In addition to the local CBS news affiliate providing live coverage of our launch, several of my friends and coworkers from the Mission were there to provide support, encouragement, and prayer as we set out. One other brave soul, Joe, would be making the trip with me in his kayak, a Huki S1-X surf ski. I was using my Wilderness Systems Tempest 165 Pro sea kayak. Mentally, it would have been a much longer trip had Joe decided not to come. With the morning sun rising above the distinctive skyline of Kansas City, Joe and I set off from Kaw Point in Kansas City, KS. The clear blue skies were truly an answer to prayer.

Years ago, Captains Meriwether Lewis and William Clark of the U.S. Army made their camp at that very point in their exploration of the American Northwest. While Joe and I were heading in the opposite direction, we too would be making our own expedition down the same river that has had such historical significance to our nation and the midwest.

….

There is something almost other-worldly about paddling on the Missouri River at night. With the golden glow of a rising moon comes the descending silence of the landscape. Occasionally we heard the rising turbulence of a boil or whirlpool as the trees cast their wide shadows over the river banks. The silhouette of a floating log or branch had the potential to play tricks on my eyes. There were a few times when I wondered if one might have been a coiled water-snake, ready to strike. While in the back of my mind I knew that scenario was not the case, I steered wide of anything that looked suspicious.

After getting about one hour of sleep, Joe and I departed from the boat ramp in Miami. The temperatures in the low 40s were unexpected; although as we continued to move I stayed just warm enough in my fleece. Occasionally the wisps of smoky vapor would rise into a column of looming fog, making it even harder to see in the darkness. Turning on my spotlight only made the river blindness worse. It was slow going in the early morning hours as Joe combated fatigue and exhaustion with caffeine while the mid-May temperatures only seemed to fall. We relied on the faint view of the banks to our left and right as we could only now listen for any impending boils or whirlpools. I continued to check my watch to see how much longer we would have to wait for the rising and warming sun.

We made it to Glasgow, MO by about 7:00 am on Wednesday, May 18th, where Brooke and Roland met us with much needed coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Joe and I had paddled our kayaks 141 miles within the first 24 hours of being on the water. While Joe caught up on some rest for the next hour, I discussed the trip with my two friends.

Later that afternoon we finally passed under the I-70 bridge in mid-Missouri. I could tell Joe was losing energy but we both made it to Cooper’s Landing where Joe decided to stop. He made the right decision; he believed it was unsafe for him to be on the river given his condition. With a river that can be tricky like the Missouri, it is much better to be safe than sorry. I’m grateful he was able to accompany me for the first 197 miles. With just 26 miles to Jefferson City, I was focused and determined more than anything to finish on time. Under an overcast sky with rain in the forecast, I forced down more energy gel and took off. Keeping an eye on my distance and speed with the GPS helped the final 3 hours go by much faster. I took a short break after 11 miles, took one more energy gel with some water, did another 11 miles, and cruised in under a steady rain for the last four miles.

I finally made it to Jefferson City! Juliann’s husband Larry pulled the boat out of the water and I stumbled out. I hadn’t used my legs in 12 hours and 82 miles. After a short interview with the local CBS news affiliate, the kayak was loaded on top of the Xterra and I was ready to get a shower, some real food, and sleep. My diet for the previous day and a half basically consisted of Advil, GU Energy Gel, Granola Bars, a few sandwiches, water, and Gatorade. My stomach yearned for a steak.

….

The man interviewing me on the boat ramp in Jefferson City asked me if I had any regrets about this trip; I did not. I would gladly do it again. Even just one week later, I have already started to forget about the sore muscles and pain in my body as a result of the journey. I had the opportunity to raise money and awareness for the Kansas City Rescue Mission and bring attention to the issue of homelessness that affects so many people not just in Kansas City, but also in our nation. While I may have suffered and tested my body’s limits for a day and half, I still had a home to return to and recover. Yet there are so many people wandering the streets searching for food, a home, and a loving family to be with. They are still walking through that cold and foggy darkness that Joe and I encountered in the early morning hours as they wait for the sun to rise in their lives. I continue to pray for God’s blessing over them.

I am thankful to God that I was able to use one of my passions to help the ministry at the Kansas City Rescue Mission. I am thankful for the two day window of perfect weather and river conditions that God provided, and I was grateful to only have to pass one barge on the river. I am extremely thankful for friends like Brooke and Roland who had their own adventures meeting Joe and me at boat ramps along the river. Finally, I am thankful for Juliann and her husband, Larry, along with the other staff in the development office: Paul, Julie, Gil, and Chris. Their coordination, support, and prayer, along with everyone else’s encouragement was invaluable. Thank you to all who made a donation to support this ministry as well!

I was visiting The Foundry as a consultant, and my visit happened to bridge Thursday night — chapel night – for homeless overnight guests and recovery residents.  I found a seat near the front and was quickly surrounded by homeless folks, men, women, a few kids.  The music began, a pretty good worship band made up of various volunteers, staff and residents.  Led by a guy in a UPS uniform, we rocked the chapel, clapping, shouting, raising our hands and faces to the ceiling and beyond to God’s ears.

It was April … the Lenten season … and Rev. Bill Heintz, the executive director of The Foundry, got up to preach.  I settled in to hear an Easter message, typical for a rescue mission, and usually followed by an altar call.  I checked my watch and calculated the minutes it would take to complete the whole chapel process, get a bite to eat and finally settle into my hotel bed with the remote control.  If all went well, I’d be watching ER in a couple hours.

But Bill Heintz is a “preach it!” preacher.  It didn’t take long for my ears to lock on to the rise and fall of his voice.  As I listened to him create a picture of Christ’s stumbling struggle to Golgotha, I became completely caught up in the story … a story I’d read, heard, taught myself, a hundred times.

For a moment, my thoughts were captivated by my own struggles: a gut-wrenching divorce and the overwhelming pain my children and I were experiencing; my own sinful, fear-swept reaction to what was happening to us; worst, the loss of trust in my own ability to make right decisions, to be a decent mother, provider, spiritual leader in what was left of our family.

Then Bill caught my attention again.  He had come from behind the pulpit and was standing, head bowed and silent. Seconds passed and then!  ”He … Died … For … YOU!”  Punctuating each word, he thrust out his left arm first, then his right.  As he said “YOU!” he raised his head sharply and stood as though crucified for several more seconds.

I tried to regain my mental footing, but my tears and heart had leaped ahead.  As Bill offered a place at the altar for anyone who wanted prayer, my pride said, “You don’t have the problems these folks around you have.  They are homeless, addicted, they’ve lost their families, they have nothing.  Don’t take away the time they need before God.  Don’t take up someone else’s space at the altar.”

Then thankfully, the voice of God’s spirit broke through: Who are you kidding?  Are you better than these people?  Do you think you can fix this on your own.  What separates your loss from theirs?  What makes your pain more bearable? Who exactly do you think you are?

And it hit me: There is no difference between the addict, the drunk, the prostitute, the abuser, the gambler, the unemployed, the destitute, the low-income, the middle-income, the housed and the unhoused, the divorced mother or father, the physically sick or the heartsick, the mentally ill or spiritually proud.  THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE.  I DIED FOR YOU.

He died for me.  He died for you.  He died for all.

Fifteen years ago, I learned to kneel at the altar, broken and bare.  Free to “come before the throne of grace with confidence.”  Free to acknowledge the ground is level at the foot of the cross.  Thank God.  Praise His Holy Name.

It’s hard to know how to respond to such wide-scale suffering. Civil war, earthquakes, drought, famine, the mysterious death of birds and fish and bees and bats.

No one individual can stop the tumult, and only God knows what will be delivered in the end. These are times when we must say to ourselves, “I can help the person next to me. I can’t do it all — in fact, no one will see the dent I make with my money or volunteerism — but I can do something. I can touch one life and that person will know.”

God will know.

If you feel helpless as I do sometimes, draw on this advice from “Experiencing God”: Watch to see where God is at work, and join Him there.

We can make a difference wherever that place is.

Contact: Julie Larocco
Office (816) 421-7643
Mobile (816) 699-3029

Kansas City Rescue Mission Keeps Doors Open for Downtown Homeless
“We’ll take as many folks as we can today and tonight,” says shelter manager.

Kansas City Rescue Mission has gone into emergency status for the duration of the winter storm in the metro area. “The local day center closed at 9 a.m. this morning and men are already coming to us for shelter,” spokesperson Julie Larocco said. “We’ve opened up our chapel and will be sheltering, feeding and caring for homeless men throughout the day today and tomorrow. We expect to shelter around 85 in our emergency shelter and another 40 men in our recovery program—a total of 125 for the next two nights at least.”

Because it’s the first of the month, many homeless men will get their social security or disability checks today and may choose to wait out the storm in hotels, reducing the numbers who may seek cover in area shelters, Larocco said. “But we’ll take in anyone who comes to us for help in this dangerous weather.”

The Mission needs donations of socks, thermal underwear, towels, washcloths, coffee and food to help cover the extra people they care for. “We’d also appreciate cash donations to pay the soaring expenses we’ll incur during the subzero temperatures,” Larocco said. Concerned Kansas Citians can drop off donations at 1520 Cherry Street or give online at www.kcrm.org.

–30–

Tara Richardson, food service manager, prepares lunch for extra guests during the blizzard on Tuesday.

“Strange, isn’t it? Each man’s life touches so many other lives.

When he isn’t around he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he?”

My favorite movie of all time has got to be It’s a Wonderful Life.  Last Saturday evening it was showing on TV and like every year at Christmas, it was on at my house.

When I was growing up I didn’t really enjoy the old black and white version, it just seemed so old and boring.  But when my college roommate dug the VHS tape out of his collection, we sat down and watched the whole thing from start to finish, and my love for the movie was born.  There were times where I would watch the movie multiple times in a week, feasting on chips and salsa, mesmerized by Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed.  On other occasions my roommate and I would have it playing in the background while we finished school work or folded laundry.

What was so enticing about George Bailey and Clarence his guardian angel?  Why did we revere the story then and why do I still enjoy it immensely now?

I believe the message of the movie is summed up by Clarence in the quote above.

George rescues his younger brother from drowning in a pond when they’re kids.  He saves his town on multiple occasions from being bought up by Mr. Potter, an ambitious entrepreneur.  He unknowingly touches the lives of everyone with whom he comes in contact.  George has had a bigger impact on his world than he ever dreamed and when Clarence uses his heavenly powers to remove George from the world, he finally realizes the truth.  He has made a difference in the world.  His life matters.

Personally, I’ve never directly saved anyone’s life (as far as I know!), but I am curious as to what kind of impact my life has had on the world around me.  Positive or negative, or some of both, the people I grew up with, those I encountered in college, and now in the working world and at the Mission, what has my life meant?  What difference have I made in the world?

Many of the homeless men we serve at the Kansas City Rescue Mission are transient, and we often don’t get to see how their stories end.  Some of our clients find work, get into housing, and are totally transformed.  Other men seem to return to the Mission every few months, back to their old habits and friends.  Many disappear and are never heard from again, moving on to a new life somewhere else, for good or ill.  The difference that we made and the changes that occurred are often difficult to see.

Sometimes I feel like George Bailey and wonder what the world would be like without me.  Unlike George, I think most of us are just going to have to wait until we get to heaven to see just what kind of impact we made.  Still, it’s so nice when a former client returns to the Mission, not for a bed or a meal, but just to say thanks or to give back.

One of our long-time clients, Art, has decided to give back.  He used to be a regular at the Mission, homeless and hungry.  Our case manager, Sarah, helped him find a steady source of income and housing in Kansas City, KS.  That was about three years ago.  Now, every Wednesday night, you can find Art down at KCRM.  He’s not here to eat or sleep.  He’s in the kitchen, preparing and serving the evening’s meal for our overnight guests.  He’s saying thanks and giving back.

Art’s story and others like it remind me of the impact we are having on these guys lives.  Change is possible and happens all the time.  And I’m a part of it.  You can be, too.  Our volunteer coordinator, Juliann Hansen, is always looking for ways to use volunteers in meaningful, impact-ful ways.  You can reach her at jhansen@kcrm.org or call (816)421-7643 and ask for Juliann.  Or you can give on our website.

In big ways and small ways, KCRM is making an impact in the world.  No question about it.  No need to check with Clarence!

I was heart broken to hear about the homeless gentleman who succumbed to the bitter cold this past weekend in downtown Kansas City. As part of a ministry that exists to provide shelter and care to the poorest of the poor I, along with all the staff at KCRM, keenly feel the tragedy when someone dies because they did not have safe shelter.

This sad event prompts me to address some questions that may be in the minds of our friends and supporters:

Does KCRM ever turn anyone away on these very cold nights?
During cold or dangerous weather the Mission will operate in overflow status. This means we will find a way for anyone who comes to us to have a place to rest, even if it is a mat on a floor, as long as we can maintain fire safety standards. When our overflow capacity is reached, we will contact other shelter agencies to ensure that anyone turning to us will not be simply turned away into the cold.

If we are ever forced to refuse services to an individual whose presence may present a danger to staff or other guests, every provision possible is made to see that the individual finds appropriate care, if even with the authorities.

What does KCRM require for a guest to stay the night?
Typically, after a week of service at no cost a client is asked to give a dollar or do some small chore to stay the night. They are also required to take a breathalyzer test to make sure they are not under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Finally they receive a pat-down to check for weapons or drug paraphernalia.

Paying a dollar or doing a simple chore – sweeping a floor or emptying some trash – helps the chronic homeless begin to take some responsibility for their situation and helps instill a sense of responsibility and pride for their “home.” Most of our guests actually welcome, some even insist on a chance to contribute to the welfare of the Mission.

The requirement that guests pass a breathalyzer and receive a pat-down is necessary for the safety of our guests, volunteers and staff alike. It is one of the reasons that KCRM has a reputation among the homeless population for being one of the safest and most peaceful places to stay in Kansas City.

Does being in overflow status put an extra strain on the Mission?
As you would expect, yes it does. The strain of caring for a greater number of guests also increases our financial burden as well as the stress on staff and supplies.

If you would like to make a gift to help us meet the challenge of this cold weather emergency, click here to visit our online giving page

KCRM will shelter up to 140 men some night during the winter -- almost double its capacity.

and choose “Cold Weather Overflow” under the “Gift Information” section.

If you ever have a question about Kansas City Rescue Mission’s policies and care for the homeless, don’t hesitate to call me at (816) 421-7643 or email jcolaizzi@kcrm.org. Thank you for your continuing generosity and friendship!

Sincerely,

Rev. Joe Colaizzi
Executive Director

It turned out to be easy, because 75 percent of us were thankful for the same thing: the family that stood in the circle.  Family, family, family, family … tears sprung up as we reaffirmed our love for one another again and again.

Sometime during the night, I woke up with the realization that most of the homeless guys I work with at Kansas City Rescue Mission were estranged from their families.  Of course, I’ve known this for years.  I’ve interviewed hundreds of homeless men and women, gathering stories for the letters, newsletters, magazine articles, etc., that go with writing for rescue missions.  And, I’ve heard countless times, “I’ve burned all my bridges with my family.”  Or, “Even my mom has given up on me.”  Or, “My brother told me don’t call home no more.”

If so many had been loosed from ‘the ties that bind,’ what were they thankful for?  And just how hard would Thanksgiving be to bear?

When I returned to work on Monday, a bunch of guys in the Mission’s Christian Community of Recovery (C-COR) were smoking in the parking lot.  One homeless, these men had chosen to join the Mission’s recovery community to find “freedom from the past and hope for the future.”  As I crossed the lot toward my office, several called out some version of, “Mornin’ Julie.  How was your holiday?”

My first thought:  The guys are always so polite.  My second: Why do they care?   My third: Answer them.  ”I had 27 people at my house for Thanksgiving brunch … an amazing spread … and we had a blast!”

From each face, a congenial smile.  They seemed sincerely happy for me.  I heard: “27!  Wow!”  ”All your family?”  ”Did you cook for all of ‘em?”  ”Well, that’s just great.”

(I dearly love these guys.)

“Yes, it was!” I said.  And after a long pause, I asked, “Did you all hang out here?”  Of course, for most the answer was clearly YES.  There was no family home to go to.  Or for some, the bridges had been so effectively burned, their families might as well have been a thousand miles away.

Then to keep the conversation going, I asked, “Did you have a good Thanksgiving?”

For a moment I wished I hadn’t asked.  I wondered if I’d backed them into a corner of small-talk responses designed to hide how they really felt — you know, “It was fine, just fine.”

One by one, each guy responded:
“A couple from my church came to get for dinner at their house.  It was great!”
“We ate pretty good here at the Mission — the kitchen served Cornish hens.”
“I was just thankful I was here at the Mission and sober!”
“Hah, I’m glad I made it through Thanksgiving and I’m still here and sober!”

So here I am thankful again for family.  The folks who extend theirs to include a man or two from KCRM.  The ones that come Thanksgiving Day to fix enough Cornish hens to feed 100 hungry strangers living in a rescue mission.  And the “family” created at the Mission itself, made up of a bunch of guys smoking in a circle and the staff who stop to chat with them.

My guess is that Dee’s eyes were down — she probably didn’t look both ways … didn’t notice the light was red … didn’t hear the car coming because she is half deaf.

The doctors kept her for several days because she suffered a head injury (the first of many in her 62-year life). They also noticed the highways of painful varicose veins that crisscross both legs. They checked her from head to toe — I know she hated that! — and gave her pills and vitamins and instructions and encouragement.

Today she will check out and go to a local shelter where she can recuperate. After that, she will return to the airless, filthy apartment she calls “the dump.”

Dee Dee and I think the few days she spent at the hospital were pretty good days all in all. Three hots and a cot, people checking up on her, smiling, plumping her pillows.

It’s sad to think the hospital was more “home” than her own home. My own hope is that KCRM’s new women’s center becomes home for the women like Dee — whose eyes are turned downward, whose thoughts are confused, who can’t always hear or see the hope ahead.